Sunday, January 27, 2008


Oh, I could ramble forever on this subject. I could have even before I found out I was pregnant. I have always been completely fascinated with conception, pregnancy, and birth. And for the past several years I have eagerly looked forward to experiencing all these things and to experiencing a tiny, unique, divine life grow right inside my belly. This thing, only 2 1/2 inches big, already moving, with fingernails and even a tiny pancreas, grew from almost nothing. What makes it grow? How does it know what to do? Where the eyelids go and how to make a brain? I have enjoyed meditating on this thought.
And then I ponder on the fact that my egg that helped sprout this little person, that egg, was inside me when I was a fetus inside my Mom in 1971. And that the egg that made me was inside my Mom, inside my Grandma in 1941! This blows me away. Isn't that mind-blowing?
I have just started to enjoy these thoughts only lately. Even though I have known I was pregnant since November 28th, I have been so very, very nauseous literally 24/7, that I have not been able to have one thought other than, "Not going to throw up...not going to throw up...not going..." Mercifully now I am feeling better and now only feel that way 10pm to 6am. I gladly accept the heartburn, constipation, and headaches in exchange. Oh, and I only fit into one pair of my jeans anymore, and none of my bras fit.
I am already focused on how everything I do, feel, think, eat, affects someone else directly. And I am so delighted in this! I accept this responsibility with such open and loving humbleness. I can imagine baby snuggled in my gooey insides and imagine I am already holding the sweet, tiny body in my hands and singing into those tiny ears. These things give me such happiness. I already have a relationship with my baby.

Coming soon... Mark Papa Covell, first belly pics, and more musings. Here is an old pic for now.

Newborn Joy


ks1k said...

Great thoughts and plans.


AllBeehive said...

That is mind blowing. Holy cow, thanks for the insight. I've never thought of it like that.

DG is so happy for you guys. He wanted to me to let you know, but he is busy holding Hadley right now. Who seems to get cuter every day. She looks me in the eye now with recognition and giggles.